Insight and Out (Part 10)

And here we have a prime example of an Aspie arguing with his parents using this journal as a proxy. Not any real life lessons here but it’s part of my old journal and it should show a bit about how Aspies think, so here it is.

I still don’t feel like writing but I don’t see that I have much choice. At any rate I think I may at least have something to talk about. That is that my parents are the sole source of my current problems at home.

(beat)

No, really.

The main issue at my house at the moment is that me and my parents simply CANNOT get along for extended periods of time. So let’s examine what the primary division is: aha, the computer. Big surprise there, given their Luddite tendencies.

So how do I know this? Well, when they aren’t on my case about the computer we seem to get along just fine. In fact there have been numerous instances where they and I have behaved just like families should have and the whole reason is because they weren’t up in arms over my computer.

They in turn claim that the computer is the primary cause of my underperformance at school and at home and that I’m addicted to it.

I call horse turds on both of those and I will tell you why.

First of all, my underperformance at school/around the house has remained pretty much constant no matter the status of the computer, thus indicating the utter lack of a correlation or any other form of causal relationship there. My dad gave me much assistance by claiming that my recent downturn in grades was due to the fact that technically I have unlimited computer access.

Well, he’s partially right. Technically I have no limits on what I can do with the computer. However, there remains the slight issue that my gaming rig is out of commission at the moment and of my two laptops, one is both a Mac and school property and the other is currently just an overheated waste of plastic that at any rate has been locked in a footlocker to keep my brother from using it.

So, while that theory goes down in flames, let’s talk addiction. Addiction is a psychological term where the brain chemistry has been modified on a fundamental level, usually by drugs but occasionally by behaviors instead of substances. Basically it rewrites the brain to either convince it that the subject of addiction is necessary for continued survival rather like food or oxygen or to suffer immense emotional burden if the desired object is unobtainable.

That in mind, let’s look at addictive behavior patterns. Addicts will put their prize above literally everything else to deleterious effect. While I have no illusions about whether computer/gaming addictions exist, I am one hundred percent certain that I am not suffering from one nor have I ever. For example, when it comes time to go to work or bed, I don’t sit around and say oh, five more minutes then I’ll be done and then still be sitting there an hour later. Nope. I get off my backside and hop along to work or bed. While it’s true that I’ve skipped meals, it’s usually because I’m trying to lose weight (hence I only skip supper and that rarely anyway) and because I’m trying to live up to the nerd archetype of being too darn busy to eat.

That’s both of my parents’ rationales with holes blasted amidships and lifeboats in the water while they capsize and sink to the depths. Which in turn leads to me wondering why they’re so anti-video games? Though at times I may feel differently I do have a cognitive grasp of the fact that no, they are not “out to get me” for the sole purpose of making my life miserable. I genuinely believe they think they’re helping; it’s just that they’re NOT helping with what they’re doing and decide that maybe trying harder is the answer when really all that does is exacerbate the problem. No offense but if you can’t fit the square peg in the round hole the answer is not to shove it even harder. Chances are you’ll likely break either the peg or the hole and even if you don’t it won’t fit comfortably.

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