A while back, midway through my Insight and Out posting binge, my father asked that I do a post on what Aspies (more specifically me, I refuse to claim the ability to speak for others with Asperger’s Syndrome) view as an attack. Those of you who have watched the Asperger’s Experts (brilliant couple of gentlemen, by the way, definitely check out their stuff) have no doubt heard that Aspies are usually in defense mode due to perceived “attacks” on them.
Note that I do not necessarily say that I’m justified in viewing any of these things as attacks. Frequently, these sorts of things are more or less petty irritants as opposed to an actual attempt on my life or sanity but it comes across as the same thing. This may also come across as a rant.
One thing that frequently feels like an attack is when I’ve got my schedule worked out for the day and all of a sudden my parents come out and say “hey, do the dishes.” Perfectly reasonable, right? WRONG! Because my schedule didn’t call for dishes to be done right now so my parents’ attempts to get me to do it right now will be seen as an attack, as a deliberate attempt to sabotage my plans and organization for the day. Oftentimes I even planned to do the dishes at some point later in the day, so the problem isn’t with doing the dishes in and of itself so much as it’s the fact that I don’t want to do them right now.
My parents, upon my revealing this, took the obvious step and asked why I don’t plan things out in advance. This also gets seen as an attack, largely because with the constant assaults on my day-to-day schedules I don’t feel like I can plan these things out because at some point they’re going to get ruined. Thus I feel like my parents want a schedule that is unrealistic and I can’t stick to it and I freak out at them.
On a more day-to-day note (my parents have been increasingly better about the last two, props to them) one thing that I frequently see as an assault on me is the hallways. Oh my gosh, the hallways at my school. Every freaking day, someone stops right in front of me, someone walks the other way on the wrong side of the hallway, people walk slower than freaking snails. It drives me INSANE. I’ve taken to walking on the right middle side of the hallway – so that I’m on the right side, which is widely accepted here in ‘murika as the proper side to be on, but not so much that I’m bulldozing over people who are trying to get to their lockers. I don’t use mine but I understand others using theirs.
The result of this is I simply refuse to move aside except in extenuating circumstances. Oh, I’m sorry, are you walking straight towards me? Unfortunately for you, I don’t use my locker and as such carry around a duffel bag that is heavy enough most people can’t lift it. It makes a great battering ram, as you can now testify from personal experience. Did you just stop right in the middle of the hallway to talk to your friend and block everyone else? Ramming speed. Cut a corner coming around so that anyone following anything resembling road rules will run into you? Ramming. Speed.
Don’t even get me started on actual traffic, either. I am probably the most anal driver in the history of the world and I’m not above shouting through the windshield if you’re cutting me off or otherwise being a jerk.
Oh jeez, and people talking in the school media center. I nearly did a dance when the MC admins made the rule that only four people can sit at a table. It didn’t solve the problem by any means, but at least there was fewer stuff about it. It’s gotten to the point where I’ve desperately wanted to walk over to the loudmouths who can’t appreciate that some of us actually can read the rules that say sit down, shut up and let people STUDY and tear them a new one over how they can’t shut up.
To say nothing of one time when my sociology teacher took issue with me using my computer in class. At my high school everyone was issued macbook airs. I use mine as every single item of schoolwork that I can. I take notes on it, I use Google Calendar as my planner, I use email to communicate with teachers. But he got upset with me using it in class because there exists the possibility of me using it to browse the web at random. I saw that as an attack as well. He later told me he didn’t want to make it an issue, to which my response was that I have a ninety-five percent in the class even though I’ve used my computer every day and therefore it almost certainly was not an issue. To his credit he seems to have accepted that.
I’m almost certain that I’m going to find some more things that I’ll see as an attack – maybe there will be a sequel to this post later. I need to keep better notes.
More to the point, I need a smartphone.
Flagmouth – Lord of all Tangents, God of Agriculture, Bootlegging and Flawed Logic. Also Batman.