An Aspie’s Thank-you

Recently I wrote a letter thanking a couple friends of the family for helping set up my new room:

 

Dear Gavin and Cathy (I think I spelled those right),
There are no words in English, Russian or French to describe the magnitude of the help you guys have provided. Which makes this letter somewhat difficult to write. It’s one of those things where you can’t quite put it into words, but you still have to work within their limits so it all comes out feeling kinda clunky and stiff and not meaning what it was supposed to. Regardless, I have to at least put in the effort – it’s the least I can do after your help in setting up my new room.
As you’re both probably aware I suffer from Asperger’s Syndrome…technically it’s now high-functioning autism but whatever. The point is that my brain works a bit differently from the average human being’s. As such, the ability to stay at home and take time adjusting to life more or less on my own (i.e. doing my own laundry and such things) is an incalculable asset. New experiences for Aspies are extremely traumatic and create huge levels of anxiety. I can’t help it; even if I can work through the logic and probability of things going horrifically wrong I will still fret over something like that until it’s gone well and then I’ll worry a bit more. All this is EXTREMELY taxing on one’s mental faculties – I very nearly went insane just from finishing the school year.
One shudders to think exactly how long it would have taken for me to go mad after moving out of the house. Alternatively I would have ended up on the streets almost certainly, which isn’t much better. This is like one of those times when you’re listening to a motivational speaker and they’re talking about how they probably would have joined Hitler Youth or something if not for these nice people who talked them into the Boy Scouts instead or somesuch like that.

For me, those people are you two. And the plumber and some other couple of people but you two did the bulk of the work. And so, I thank you from the bottom of my heart – wait, that doesn’t go down very far, does it? I thank you from the bottoms of my feet. There. That sounds much better. Probably good for a laugh as well. Buy one get one free.

-[REDACTED] the Grateful, Lord of Tangents and High-Functioning Aspie

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