All According To Plan (Or Not)

Planning things has never gone particularly well for me. In particular, I tend to set out to do something and then never get it done. It’s gotten to the point that if my parents ask when I’m going to do something, I can no longer give them a definite answer because I honestly have no idea.

Seems to me that the world enjoys going out of its way to frustrate any plans I might have made. As such, it becomes increasingly difficult for me to even formulate a plan. I keep trying to take into account as many variables as is humanly possible and the resulting wealth of options and outcomes (sounds like a tabletop RPG, n’est-ce pas?) drives me completely insane.

For that matter, I have a semi-obsession with keeping my schedule open and flexible. I currently work, say, three nights on a given week. That adds up to maybe twelve or fifteen hours. Per week. Plenty of time, right?

Not if you’re as plan-paranoid as I am. To me, I’m on a constant time crunch, because I have things I need to do and no idea when I’ll be able to do them. I’ve meant to clean up the rest of my room for a month or so now. Same thing with organizing my computer files and iTunes library.

Part of that is simple procrastination, a factor that is largely independent of my Asperger’s. But it goes quite a bit beyond that, to the point where my brain freezes up and I become incapable of planning out the next five minutes, let alone the next five days. It gets quite frustrating and I am currently reluctant to even try.

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One thought on “All According To Plan (Or Not)

  1. Interesting: dependent/not dependent on Asperger’s; that is the question! If not: then what stands in the way of taking baby steps to doing tasks, e.g. clean up your room and computer files? If not: then you should (?) be able to have some control. Must be very, very frustrating. Worth further exploration, I believe.

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