New York City

For the record, big cities aren’t exactly my thing.

Of course, when I say “not exactly my thing” I really mean “the closest I can get to hell on Earth.”

There are WAY too many cars. By a full order of magnitude at least, plus what cars there are are driven by maniacs who probably obtained their license by holding the instructor at gunpoint. Walking is always a pain, but it’s the least hellish of the options for traveling around the city – and if you know me you know how much I hate walking. Seriously, it’s that bad.

The subway and the buses are also pretty terrible. Unless you have amazing timing or just shove everyone out of your way there’s no way in hell you’ll get an actual seat, so you’ll have to stand there hoping nobody picks your pocket and nearly falling over every time the vehicle stops or starts. Which if you’re in a bus, will be exceedingly often.

I’m not kidding. My dad is a better driver than I am, and honestly I’m better than most by this point (‘course I’m an excellent driver…) and he refused to try to navigate this city in his car. We enlisted the help of a friend who lived in the area, and even he had trouble.

That and the NOISE. For God’s sake, every two seconds someone in earshot will decide it’s time for a surprise car horn inspection and hammer the thing like there’s no tomorrow. If you’re really lucky they’ll do it two inches from you and blow your eardrums clean out of your head.

And the people everywhere, none of whom are going to get out of your way so unless you want to ram straight into them you need to basically dodge everyone on the sidewalk. And there’s a hell of a lot of people to dodge as well, so good luck. Plus half of them are smoking about as much as a coal-burning steam engine so say goodbye to your nice clean lungs. And even once you find somewhere to sit down, people walking by will try and sell you stuff or whatnot. I don’t know about you but if I’m sitting there reading a book I don’t want to be petitioned by door-to-door salesmen wannabes, seriously.

That said, we’re at least situated in a hotel fairly close to a view of the new World Trade Center. Take a good long look, Al-Quaeda. You suck forever, and we win.

*ahem* We’re not going there.

That said, I can’t be too hard on New York City drivers because honestly they’re better than the ones in Massachussetts. Although maybe only by virtue of not having as much room because of all the bloody buildings, but eh, I’ll take what I can get I suppose. Unless people want me to rant at them, which I’m only too good at.

And I haven’t taken a taxi anywhere. According to my dad that’s an adventure, so we’ll probably have to do that before we leave the city for good tomorrow.

Just a quick update while I’m on vacation to tell you what I think of the city, I suppose. Hope you found it useful.


One thought on “New York City

  1. Boy! I can imagine how it is from your writing. I’d be right there with you–ready to hide in a hole until time to leave.

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