I am terrible at updating regularly. I really am sorry!
Now, on to today’s subject. I only have a very few friends. Specifically, I’ve got…oh, about three that I talk to semi-regularly. Only using Skype, of course – wouldn’t want to go outside and interact face-to-face, now would we? Of those three, I get to talk to one on a semi-daily basis. The other two are significantly less available – one of them vanishes for up to a couple weeks at a time due to college obligations and becomes impossible to get ahold of by any means, and his brother is involved in about three extracurricular activities at his school at any one time – generally this means he has school all day, something after school like track or drama rehearsal, then comes home and does homework and housework for a bit, maybe jumping on Skype, then goes to bed. And his first priority upon getting free time is updating fanfiction on another roleplaying site that I’m not a part of (and believe me, I did try to be; I introduced him to them initially)
The rest of my friends are all unavailable for regular contact, one way or another, and unlike the above three do not spend enough time on video games and Skype that I can find. It gets very irritating, especially when you’ve got something all planned out: all four of you are online, all four of you are going to play a video game…except nope. The universe doesn’t care for that. Friend One’s fraternity will have some stupid meeting they just told him about an hour ago, or Friend Two’s dad will need him to go do a chore, or Friend Three is just too engrossed in a single-player game.
No, really. I had a legitimate mental breakdown once over this. And I can’t assume that I’m the unreasonable one here either; last time we had a Dungeons and Dragons game, Friend Two needed to go break up wood logs for a fireplace. And no it won’t wait for half an hour, do it now.
All we asked for is a few hours off per week to play D&D. Come on!
Okay, the negativity should be out of my system for the moment, which means it’s hopefully not going to bleed out into my writing as long as I make this quick. Long story short, I’ve never had many friends (thanks to Asperger’s and constantly changing school environments, which are where I met the majority of my friends) so the ones I do have are worth their weight in antimatter (which Google tells me is about a trillion dollars US for a gram. Well then.) I don’t mean to devalue my family at all, but my friends are all very similar to me in what sort of activities we enjoy, and that lets us have conversations about real, impactful things, like which D&D character of ours is the most overpowered. I can’t have that same conversation with my parents, or even with my brother.
For all that I would like to think I’m completely fine on my own, I’m not. Friends are invaluable; they’re some of the sole people I can trust not to be complete toads (remember, I spend most of my time on the Internet and a lot of those communities are so incredibly vitriolic I can feel my skin blistering just from having their invective crossing my monitor as I scroll past). They’re a reminder that no, I do not need to sequester myself in my basement until such time as I develop a device to bend humanity’s will to my own, however cool that may be.
They are, above all else, incredibly necessary. Which means that when you’re as bad about actually getting time and schedule slots in order as I am, running out of friends when you’re planning a hangout can be devastating. In turn, I need more friends (which just sounds incredibly superficial now that I think about it), which I’m trying to do. The problem is that I’m bad at making friends. I imagine this is why I have so few of them in the first place.
Also, a message to whatever spell-check WordPress uses: necessary is a word, get used to it and get that squiggly red line off my screen before I eat it.